Thursday, September 17, 2015
The Something Bad has made me rethink life in general and my own life in particular. It dawned on me (like a brick falling out of the sky and landing directly on my head) that being vulnerable can be rewarding.
Up until now I have kept my online presense more or less hiding behind my fiction. That's not really fair, actually, because my fiction is a very personal expression of my authentic self. My sexuality is central to who I am, and I write what turns me on, almost without exception. I don't necessarily write about things I would want to experience in reality, but some things are very pleasurable to enjoy in your head through fictional characters who suffer no repercussions (unless I hand them out!).
I have to wonder sometimes if everyone's sexuality is as closely tied to their person as mine is. It must be why I don't feel exceptionally close to very many people. I don't know if I have shared my entire self with anyone in my life. I'm not what you'd call a trusting person.
You can't even really expose yourself online. I mean, here I am and here are my thoughts and fantasies. But if I met you on a newsgroup, I couldn't just tackle you with my full on personality.
What do you do? I write spanking fiction. You might have seen my work floating around. My name is Jennie May.
Oh... Jennie May. Yikes. You write ageplay. That's scary. You write Christian Domestic Discipline stories. That makes me think you are in favor of nutjob EEE-vangelicals being beaten because they think God wants it that way. By the way, do you know the Duggars?
I also write ageplay with intense sexuality. Many people are quickly squicked by that type of thing and may even be rather judgemental toward my precious "little" characters regarding their wants and needs. I sometimes write what the Real World would certain consider rape or spousal abuse.
I can't just spill that to someone, even a fellow spanko.
Me, me, me. I know. Well, it's my blog.
Spanking. Is that better?
My spanking fetish is mixed up in just about everything in my inner world, soul, spirit. My physical world gets by okay without it (although due to circumstances beyond my control I've been living without the physical act, and I can tell you with all authority that it sucks), but it's all wrapped up in my emotional life, my heart, my sense of safety... everything.
That's so crazy. Am I crazy? I mean, maybe the answer is yes, but it's okay. I'm back to me again.
I am rarely attracted to a man by the way he looks. I am attracted to his demeanor, to the way he takes control of a conversation or situation. I am attracted to the way someone scolds or teases me. The guy at the convenience store counter can tell me in an authoritative tone to drive carefully, and I get all tingly.
One time. One time I was in a really bad mood and I happened to throw some trash out my car window. (In my defense this is something I NEVER do... really. I am very environmentally friendly and pro clean neighboorheads. It's just that this one day I was feeling all rebellious and out of sorts). So I tossed the trash, and then I happened to look in my rearview mirror. There was a man at the wheel of a black SUV, and he was giving a look that sent shivers up and down my spine. I'm not sure how I managed to keep control of the car. We stopped for a red light, and I glanced at him in the mirror again. He looked straight into (the reflection of) my eyes and pulled out a police badge which he placed against his windshield.
I'm sure that police officer was not trying to turn me on. He was probably thinking that he would scare that awful litterbug and make her never toss a piece of trash out the window again. He was certainly not thinking that the young lady in front of him needed to be spanked by a protective but caring authority figure so she would learn to make better choices... But it's been almost 10 years since that happened, and I'm still tingling at the memory.
I love the way men move. I recently read an old blog post about the power of a rolled up sleeve. Yes. Look me in the eye, and roll up your sleeves. Oh my goodness.
If you're going to kiss me, back me up to a wall. If we're out together, posessively take my hand and lead me.
I like the way that men take up space with their bodies. Women tend to draw themselves up, pull themselves in. But men separate their knees and let their arms spread naturally. (I know it's awful but I am completely turned off when a man crosses his legs with one knee over the other. For heaven's sake, don't do that. Make the little square with your legs if you need to cross them, but keep your knees away from each other.)
I knew this would feel good.
Thursday, January 8, 2015
Not everyone does that, and I think that's interesting. Some people who get turned on by the idea of spanking have no interest in anal whatsoever. And still others like the idea of anal but are not interested at all in trying it for themselves. (Or maybe they just haven't been with a partner they can trust).
The Church of the Illuminated series was a little bit scary for me to write because it was the first time I had characters really participate in anal sex as punishment or discipline. I have had other characters, like Jack and Meggie, have some pretty rough anal encounters, but those situations took place under a previous agreement between the two characters that this type of thing was going to be part of their relationship.
I felt safe in writing on this topic in the context of this crazy, fictional church because it was so far removed from reality. Even that has made some readers uncomfortable. Taking that anal discipline to another level, presenting it as semi non-consensual between two contemporary adults in the modern world would be pushing the boundaries. Wouldn't it?
Wednesday, January 7, 2015
Jack and Meggie are special because they represent a leap into a fantasy world that was a little bit scary and incredibly sensual. It pushed some boundaries, and I wasn't sure how it would be received. It had a bit of the daddy and daughter element, a lot of anal play as well as what I considered a romantic backdrop.
Tuesday, January 6, 2015
These new stories are published by Blushing Books. Check out Dr. Cora's Clinic, an age play novel about a medical clinic that exclusively serves the age play community.
Dr. Cora was so much fun to write because it allowed me to combine the fun of age play with a little bit of a medical kink. You'll find spanking in this one, and you'll certainly see some pretty extreme anal play as well as medical stuff like injections.
I hope you'll check it out.
Friday, May 11, 2012
I am excited about the success of the 50 Shades trilogy because I think that it is a huge step forward for women and their fantasies. I know it's gotten some kicks from psychologists who are worried about domestic violence and an attitude of women as sex toys. Obviously those concerns are huge. I mean, I get it. But what they don't get is that the world inside your head doesn't have to conform to any kind of social rule.
It is incredible to me - and lots of other people - that a book with BDSM themes has become a number one bestseller in mainstream America. Women everywhere have read it, and those who haven't have heard about it.
Women seem to be surprised that they are getting turned on by male dominant fantasies, but they are acknowledging in droves that they are being turned on. Does this mean that suddenly huge numbers of women are going to get into violent relationships? Hardly. It doesn't even mean that they are going to seek dominant lovers. Instead they are learning more about their own sexualities and they are realizing that it is okay - even healthy - to fantasize and that what you do in your mind is not about who you are in "real life". Your fantasies do not dictate what kind of person you are and many people wouldn't choose to act on their fantasies even if given the opportunity.
Are masses of American women asking their husbands to spank them in bed? Well, maybe. But that's not so bad. Lots of them are probably coming to the conclusion that for them it's better left a fantasy.
Now that I am seeing 50 Shades in bookstores and airports everywhere, I'm a little bit concerned about the backlash. Let's face it. It is explicit, and it is edgy. And I guess anybody of any age can go out and buy it.
The powers that be are so confused right now about what to do with sexually explicit material, especially considering the e-book explosion. Just a month or so ago, Paypal was going to refuse to work with companies whose books involved BDSM. Along comes 50 Shades, a huge money maker, and the company has had to reconsider.
Somewhere a line will be drawn. Let's hope it's in favor of fantasy.
So here's to 50 Shades and to the many books so similar to it. Let's embrace our fantasies and explore those deep, dark places in our minds.
Tuesday, April 3, 2012
“We’ll need you for about four hours each evening,” Marla said. She wasn’t looking at Kasey. She was looking at her phone. She turned to her husband. “I’ve got to take this call. Can you hammer out the details, hon?”
Brian, Marla’s husband, nodded and accepted a kiss from his wife before she left the room. Kasey watched Marla’s feet tap the wooden floor as she walked briskly away. She was obviously a woman who took business seriously.
Brian leaned forward and folded his hands. His blue-grey eyes gave Kasey a bit of a shock between her legs. She wondered if he could tell. She uncrossed and then crossed her legs under her plaid skirt. When she chose her scholarly outfit she thought it would make her look responsible. Now she was wondering what Brian was thinking.
“We both work a lot, almost every evening. That’s why we need you,” Brian continued.
Kasey shifted in her seat. She was a 19-year-old college student and was living away from home for the first time. She had answered an ad in the college newspaper for a babysitter and had ended up in Marla and Brian’s multi-million dollar home.
Marla and Brian’s three-year-old son, who had been mentioned in the ad, had turned out to be a tiny dog with puff after puff of white hair. His name was Cody and after greeting Kasey, he went to sleep on the large dog bed in the corner of the room.
“Any questions?” Brian asked Kasey. “Is the money we’re offering okay?”
Kasey nodded slowly, trying not to appear too enthusiastic. Brian and Marla were willing to pay her $25 an hour for doing almost nothing. She hadn’t expected the job would be so easy. She could study while she worked. She smiled. It was a no brainer. “My only question is when can I start?”
“Tomorrow night if you’re available,” Brian told her. He stood, so she did too.
Brian walked Kasey to the door. “Pull up to the gate and it will open. When you get here tomorrow just ring the buzzer.”
Kasey tried to act like she had been to plenty of homes with security gates. Brian waited at the door until Kasey was safely inside her little Toyota.
By the time Kasey made it back to the dorm that night things were quiet. Most of the students present were studying or asleep, and the party girls had not returned from their adventures. Kasey slipped through the halls passing door after door with dry erase boards mounted to the outside. She stopped by the front desk to pick up her mail before heading back to her room.
The only thing in her mailbox was a notice from the school’s billing department. Kasey groaned. She knew what it was before she opened it. She owed the school several hundred dollars for charges at the bookstore, and the money was overdue. Kasey had called her mom to ask for the money, but her mother couldn’t send her anything until her next paycheck. Kasey hated to take her mother’s money anyway. She knew her mom was struggling.
Brian and Marla wouldn’t be paying Kasey until the end of the week. She wondered if she could ask them for an advance on her first night of employment.
Kasey let herself into her dorm room and tossed the notice in the trash. She was too tired to think about it.
Her roommate was out with her boyfriend, and Kasey knew from experience that she probably wouldn’t be back until the next morning. She pulled off her jeans and t-shirt and climbed into bed in just a cotton camisole and a pair of panties. Her sleep was restless. She kept dreaming about being thrown out of school for not paying the bill and then of Brian’s sexy eyes.
Kasey was fifteen minutes early for her job the next evening, but Marla was rushing out the garage door as soon as she saw Kasey enter.
“I’ve got a dinner meeting in ten minutes,” she said, grabbing her car keys from a hook on the wall. She wore what seemed to Kasey to be a replica of the skirted suit she’d had on the night before. “Cody’s asleep in the guest room. He’s eaten and probably won’t get up again. Just be sure his water is fresh. He doesn’t like any hair in it. Make sure he gets the bottled water from the fridge. And make yourself at home.”
Kasey said goodbye but Marla was already gone.
Kasey went into the family room and flopped down on the large, comfortable sofa. She placed her books on the coffee table and even opened one, but she soon lost interest. She was curious about her new employers.
Kasey had no idea what Brian or Marla did for a living, but she knew that it was profitable. The house lacked nothing. The kitchen was huge, and there were signs that a cook and housekeeper had been there that day. In fact she was pretty sure that even Cody had his meals prepared by a member of the staff.
She got up and began to explore the house. The large family room flowed into an even larger kitchen with stainless steel appliances and double ovens. There were even three sinks. Huge double doors led outside to a manicured backyard featuring a huge in-ground pool. Beyond the pool was a perfect lawn that unfolded into tennis courts.
The opposite door of the kitchen opened into a formal dining room and a hallway with a sprawling, formal living room. All of the furniture in the living room was white. The walls were white as well, and even the decorative pieces were white. Kasey thought it was almost eerie, and she was afraid to touch it for fear of leaving the tiniest spot of oil from her fingertips.
Across from the living room there was a computer room with two desks and one wall of bookshelves.
One set of stairs went up from the hallway and another set went up from the family room, both leading to the impressive second floor. Kasey climbed them being careful not to make any noise.
The first room she came to was Cody’s room. She only knew that because his name was painted on the door. She peeked inside and sighed. Cody’s room was about ten times more spacious than her dorm room and featured an overstuffed dog bed big enough for a person. She wondered if he’d let her move in with him. After Cody’s room she passed a gigantic bathroom. Two more rooms were furnished as guest rooms connected by another luxury bathroom. Cody snored loudly on one of the guest room beds. The next room was set up with workout equipment, which explained where Brian got those muscular arms. Next to this room there was another set of stairs.
Kasey climbed the stairs to find herself standing in a huge room spanning the entire third floor of the house. There was no doubt that this was Brian and Marla’s room. A king sized bed had been placed next to a wall of windows and the other end of the room had been set up as a seating area with a sofa, television and fireplace. Kasey walked slowly to a large dresser across from the bed. The only thing on it was a little wooden box with an orchid painted on top. Kasey had seen something like it on an auction show on TV. On the show, the little box had turned out to be worth several thousand dollars.
Kasey picked it up. It was heavy. She pulled up on one side, and the box opened. Kasey gasped.
There was cash in the box and a lot of it. She didn’t stop to count, but she could easily see several $100 bills. She looked around. Did she dare? She told herself that people like this didn’t know how much money they had laying around. She could pocket the money and then put it back after she got paid. Slowly she took five of the bills, leaving plenty behind. She closed the box slowly and jumped when the lid snapped into place.
Kasey’s heart was pounding as she hurried back down the stairs.
Kasey paid her bookstore bill the next day and had some money left over to buy a pizza. She stashed the rest in her jewelry box vowing to return the full amount after she was paid.
Kasey was relieved when neither Brian nor Marla said anything to her about the money the next few evenings. By the last night of the week she had relaxed completely and was toying with the idea of not giving the money back at all. After all they clearly had plenty. To them $500 was probably like extra change.
Friday evening it was Brian who met her at the door instead of Marla. The way he looked at her caused Kasey to feel a little jolt of anxiety.
“What are you doing here?” asked Kasey casually. “Taking the night off?”
Brian pursed his lips together. “I wanted to talk to you.”
Kasey looked into Brian’s eyes, but she couldn’t read them. She tried to stay calm. There were plenty of things he might want to talk to her about. She looked around. “Where’s Marla?”
“Marla took Cody to her mom’s for the weekend,” Brian said, his eyes not moving from hers.
Kasey swallowed. “Then you won’t be needing me tonight?”
“Sit down,” Brian said, directing her to the white living room. Kasey prayed that her shoes were clean enough not to get the carpet dirty.
She took a seat on the living room sofa as Brian had instructed. Brian didn’t sit. He stood over her. Kasey was surprised to notice just how large he was. She looked up at him through nervous eyes.
“I want to talk to you about the money,” Brian said.
“The money?” Kasey asked, hoping he was referring to her pay.
“The money you took,” Brian clarified. “Don’t play dumb, Kasey. We have security cameras in every room.”
Kasey’s mouth dropped open. She was shocked to realize that there were cameras in the house. “You’ve been filming me?”
“We film every person who comes into this house,” he told her evenly. “You want to explain yourself?”
Kasey bit her lower lip. “I just… I had a bill from the campus bookstore, and I didn’t have any money to pay it.”
“You could have asked,” Brian pointed out. “We would have fronted you the money.”
“I should have asked,” Kasey said hoping to earn some sympathy by agreeing with Brian. . “I was going to return it.”
Brian crossed his arms over his chest and stared into her eyes. “What are we going to do with you?”
Kasey didn’t know if he wanted an answer or not.
“Suggestions?” he prompted.
Kasey shook her head. “Don’t fire me.”
Brian nodded. “If Marla knew, she would fire you.”
“Marla doesn’t know?” Kasey asked. She felt a glimmer of hope. If he hadn’t told Marla, it might mean that Brian didn’t want to fire her after all.
Brian shook his head slowly. “Marla does not know.”
Kasey began to think she understood where Brian was going with this. Sex was nothing new to Kasey. She’d been active for several years, and she was attracted to Brian. “What do you want me to do?” she asked in a low voice. She hoped she was indicating that she was willing to do whatever he wanted.
“Not that,” he snapped.
“I’m willing to let you keep this job, but I think you deserve to be punished for your theft,” Brian told her.
“Punished?” Kasey tilted her head. What could he mean?
“Yes. I’m going to take you upstairs and spank your bare behind,” he told her.
She looked for a clue that he was kidding, but she didn’t see one. “You want to spank me?”
He nodded. “I have wanted to spank you since the moment I saw you, and now I have a reason.”
“But no sex?”
He shook his head. “No.”
Kasey thought about this. Like most young women her age she had not been spanked growing up. But she knew that it was a punishment that had been given to children, and she couldn’t imagine that it would be so bad. And if it would allow her to keep this job, it was absolutely worth it. She looked up at Brian and nodded. “Okay.”
Brian’s eyes developed a dark haze, and he took her by the hand. “Let’s go.”
Kasey stumbled up the stairs behind Brian. She felt anxiety but also excitement, wondering how this was going to play out. She had always been attracted to strong, take-charge men but she had never seen one in action.
Brian took Kasey into the bedroom and shut the door. He sat her down on the huge bed, physically moving her body with his.
Kasey was nervous. She sat on the edge of the bed with her hands pressing into the mattress on her sides. She kept her knees and feet together. She watched Brian as he watched her.
“Okay, young lady. It’s time to talk about your misbehavior,” Brian said. “You know what you did was criminal? You seem worried about being fired, but I could call the police.”
Kasey blinked. She had not thought about that. He was right. Taking the money was a pretty stupid move. She couldn’t imagine having to tell her mom that she had been charged with theft. She would do anything to avoid that.
“Do you have anything to say for yourself?” Brian asked.
Kasey shook her head and swallowed hard. “No. I shouldn’t have taken the money.”
“You are right. You shouldn’t have taken the money. Didn’t your parents teach you that it’s not right to steal? What would they think if they found out?” Brian demanded.
“My mother would be very disappointed,” Kasey admitted in a small voice.
“And your father?”
“I don’t have a father.”
Brian mulled this over. “I’m about to show you what it feels like to have a father.”
Kasey felt her breathing become shallow. She hoped she wasn’t going to pass out.
“Stand up,” Brian commanded.
Kasey stood and remained still as Brian unsnapped and then unzipped her jeans. He pushed them down over her hips, and Kasey felt a sense of embarrassment as well as a shot of sexual energy. Brian’s hands slid over Kasey’s panties, and her knees went weak. She had to hold onto Brian to keep from falling.
“You okay?” Brian asked.
Kasey was touched by the tender tone of his voice. “Yes.”
He looked down at her face. “Have you ever been spanked?”
She shook her head.
“Not by your mom or even a boyfriend?”
She shook her head again.
Brian nodded slowly. “I see.”
Kasey was beginning to get very nervous. She was hyper aware that she was standing before a very attractive man that she barely knew, and that her pants were at her knees.
Brian sat down on the bed and patted his thigh. “This is where your naughty bottom goes.”
With Brian’s guidance, Kasey placed herself over his lap. All of her weight rested on Brian’s thighs. He put a hand on her panties and patted her bottom.
Kasey felt a strike of lightening in her sex at this little gesture. She closed her eyes and tried to keep herself together.
Brian rubbed his hand over the fabric of her panties. “This is what is feels like to be a naughty little girl about to be spanked.”
Kasey’s nerves were tingling. Why didn’t he just get on with it? The talking was making her crazy.
“You know you shouldn’t take things that don’t belong to you,” Brian said. “That was not a good decision. I hope that next time you are tempted to steal you’ll think about where it got you.”
He didn’t wait for her to answer. Instead he lifted her slightly with one hand while he pulled her panties down with the other.
Kasey sucked in her breath, realizing that Brian now had her bare bottom over his lap.
“That’s right, Kasey,” said Brian. “Naughty girls get spanked on the bare bottom. That’s the old-fashioned way, and it works.”
He patted her bottom again, this time with no fabric separating his skin from hers. She was surprised to feel that his hands were rough. He squeezed her right cheek and then her left.
Then suddenly his hand came down on her bottom like a thunder crack.
She cried out and jumped forward.Brian laughed. “That’s a spank, Kasey.”
Monday, August 22, 2011
Here's a snippet:
Jack and Meggie's Summer Retreat (if the link doesn't work be sure you have Adult Content enabled at Smashwords)
“But where IS it?” Meggie asked, squinting up at the large building in front of them. She had been promised three different swimming pools and a private beach.
Jack took her hand. “It’s back there. I promise. All you can see from here is the main house.”
Meggie had to admit that the main house was impressive. It reminded her of old Southern homes with its sturdy columns holding up a massive front porch. A wooden fence that Meggie judged to be about 8 feet high guarded what was behind all that house as far as Meggie could see.
There were many cars in the parking lot already with plates from all over. The resort would be open all summer, and guests would come and go as their own schedules allowed.
There had been no signs for the resort, and there was no advertising. It was snuggled up into a remote area where it would be hard for someone to just come across it by accident.
Jack pulled the large suitcase, which supported a smaller one, out of the trunk of their car. Meggie flung her own duffle bag over her shoulder and followed her husband inside.
Meggie’s body registered a little shock when she stepped into the almost chilly air-conditioned main house and out of the nearly oppressive summer heat.
A huge, grinning man greeted them at the door. He had silver hair and a friendly face. Meggie judged him to be in his late 60’s at least. He held out his hand to shake Jack’s and then Meggie’s.
“Welcome. I’m Uncle Everett. You have reservations, I assume?”
Jack nodded and followed the man to a desk and a small computer.
Uncle Everett looked closely at Meggie. She was wearing short navy blue shorts and a t-shirt with a scene showing exploding fireworks. She had pulled her hair into a ponytail and tied a red ribbon around it.
“I’ll need proof that she’s over 21,” said Uncle Everett sternly. He looked hard at Jack. “If we catch anyone here under 18, we do pursue legal action.”
Jack started to laugh but then cleared his throat instead. “Oh Meggie is far past 21. She’s very youthful looking.”
Meggie pulled herself up to her full 4’10” and handed her ID to the man behind the desk. She was, in fact, nearly 30 but small and baby faced.
He nodded and smiled. “Checks out.”
He handed Jack a key and pointed him to the elevator. They would be on the second floor of the large house with a view of the saltwater pool.
“I want to swim!” Meggie announced when they were in the elevator.
“We’ll swim,” Jack promised. “Calm down.”
On the way to their suite, Jack and Meggie passed a couple on their way one of the pools. The man had on blue swim trunks and a t-shirt advertising a steakhouse. The woman wore a pink swimsuit with white polka dots and lacy frills. It had clearly been custom made for her, perhaps modeled after a design originally meant for a toddler. The couple was about the same size. The woman might have been slightly larger, even. But it was clear to Meggie that the man was in charge.
Meggie sometimes wondered what it would be like if she was the dominant partner and tall Jack the submissive. It made her giggle.
The woman and Meggie grinned at each other as they passed.
Meggie appreciated the woman’s style. She herself tended to dress young at these events. After all, that was part of the fun. But she preferred regular looking clothes to the frilly stuff for herself and she knew that not everyone could pull off the look the way that she could. However she enjoyed seeing the sometimes outrageous costumes that other people chose to wear. Some even wore diapers and baby bonnets.
Jack opened the door to the suite, and Meggie immediately ran inside dropping her duffle bag on the floor. She went to the window where she could see a huge pool surrounded with people.
“That’s where everyone is,” she concluded.
“There and at the other pools,” said Jack. He stepped up behind her to take a look for himself. “There are two more on the property as well as some smaller areas for privacy, or so I’m told.”
Jack let his hands roam Meggie’s body as she studied the scene outside. She could instantly pick out several male dominant, female submissive couples just as she and Jack were. But there were also femdom heterosexual couples and plenty of same sex couples too. In some cases Meggie couldn’t immediately tell from clothes or behavior which was the dominant partner. She reminded herself that some people like to switch back and forth. She watched a woman in a large sunhat and a skirted swimsuit taking another woman across her knee. The submissive woman wore a frilly two-piece, and her partner pulled the bottoms right off. She took a small paddle from the table beside her and delivered a swift spanking to the naked bottom. Then she sent the woman back into the pool with her bottom bare and pink.Meggie turned from the window. “Can we go swimming?”