Friday, October 30, 2009

Religious Kink

I've been thinking a lot about why religion is a sexual kink for me... or maybe it's not. It just plays easily into my existing kinks. (Religious people having sex wouldn't do much for me, but people spanking with a religious background would).

Interestingly this is all completely separate from my own religious/spiritual leanings. I don't combine them in my mind at all.

I will admit here that I like to read what's become known as Christian Domestic Discipline or CDD. It's really bizarre to me that many people who are just fine with Domestic Discipline are freaked out by CDD. The difference between the two is that CDD is portrayed as accepted/preferred/mandated (depending on who you talk to) by God. Also those who write about these topics on-line often (always?) say that they are living this lifestyle.

I can see that the tendency to be bothered by CDD is a matter of consensuality and also reality. IF this is real (I have to wonder...) then maybe these women are being sort of brainwashed by their churches to participate even though they don't want to. And of course a lack of consent is just violence, and that's not acceptable.

So... I can see the objection. However, I don't think that there is any more to object to in CDD than there is in regular DD. A woman can be raised in a DD household and made to believe that this is what she should do, or she can be talked into it by a man even if she is against it. This would, of course, also be unacceptable.

The people I talk to about CDD are very similar to people I've met (online only) who practice DD. It is a matter of consensuality. You don't see women online saying that they wouldn't let their husbands spank them except that they think God wants them to. It is just as consensual as DD - an agreement to accept and give discipline made before the actual event. It's just that CDD couples say that they believe this is God's way to a happy marriage (DDers will often say it's their own way to a happy marriage).

If you ask me, there's a huge amount of sexuality in CDD. But if you ask others, they will tell you there's not. And what do I know? This is not something I practice. However just the fact that it involves fiction is a good indication.

I am not a right-wing conservative type... um, at all. So why do I want to read about those who are? I'm not sure, but I think it has to do with this fantasy of security I find in these really conservative groups where people separate themselves from the rest of the world. Do I think this is real security? Absolutely not. However I am very much attracted to the fantasy of it.

CDD fiction is full of these perfect, God-fearing, highly ethical men. (Do conservative Christian men, in general, fit this description? In my experience, that's a big loud NO). But how I love those guys in my fiction. These men are infallible. They are intelligent, friendly and authoritative. They would never, ever cheat on their wives. These are some terrific made-up men.

I guess if I'm being completely honest, the lack of consent does appeal to my fantasies too. (Not reality, fantasy.) The idea of a place/group where women get spanked and have no choice is appealing sexually... again, in fantasy. Does this make me an evil, anti-feminist, rotten tomato? Maybe, but I don't care. What turns me on is what turns me on, and I'm not going to apologize for that.

So to summarize my little self-indulgent rambling (that's what a blog is for, yes?) I like CDD fiction. I like it a lot. It pushes my buttons. Do I fear that CDD fiction is somehow putting real women in danger? No. If there are conservative Christians who are putting women in these kind of positions against their will, I am absolutely not in favor of that (although I suppose there is a question of an adult having the right to put herself in certain situations based on her religious beliefs and what she wants.... but that's another thought journey). But I don't think CDD fiction has anything to do with wife-battering. It's about sex, and that's the way I like it!

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